There were about 4.5 million adopted children in the United States, in 2010. This amount includes children that are adopted by step parents and relatives. In 2022, there were only 1,517 children adopted from other countries. From the years of 2004 to 2022, International adoptions DROPPED 93%. * Why? Why the drop?
As someone who was adopted from an international country I would love to know that answer. Could it be recent events that prevented that? Covid? International wars? Are there americans in the country that because of certain political events no longer want to adopt internationally for fear of possible racism? possible judgement? Who knows.
In all honesty, it shouldn't matter the reason, but you really can't help but wonder.
Lets go back to that giant number of 4.5 million. (I'm sure that number has changed since 2010) That's 4.5 million mothers who gave up their children. Whatever their reasons were... there comes a day during the year that can either bring happiness or pain to them. There are plenty of facebook groups for adoptees and parents to find comfort when that day rolls around.
That day is MOTHER'S DAY.
Wikipedia says "Mother's Day is a celebration honoring the mother of the family or individual, as well as motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society. It is celebrated on different days in many parts of the world, most commonly in March or May."
Growing up, our church celebrated Mother's as well as all women. I always admired that. I also wondered why they had all the women even us kiddos stand up. I think it was because at some point we would all raise children, whether they were ours or not. Our church did the same for Fathers. But I digress.
I had no idea... that Mother's day could in fact be a day of sadness for the children that were adopted. It just never seemed to come into my brain that I was without my birth mom. My adopted mother, Joyce, has and always will be a significant person in my life. Whether we got along or not. She was and is my mother. She was the one who changed my diaper, she was the one that spanked me when I was naughty, she was the one who MADE me practice the piano when I didn't want to and she was the one who, helped mold me into the women who I am today. (yes My daddy, Ronald, did as well but the topic is Mother's... he gets his time later) I NEVER once thought, "I am missing my birth mom and therefore I am sad." It never clicked that Joyce was NOT my birth mom. Yes, I knew she wasn't my birth mom, but it didn't FEEL like she was NOT my birth mom. So to see facebook groups for adoptees to talk and share feelings about being abandoned on Mother's day... was almost shocking to me.
That means in 2010, 4.5 million kids... a majority of them did NOT have a good Mother's day. 4.5 million mothers... did NOT have a good Mother's day. I like to think that there was a portion of that number of kids and Mother's experienced life like I did. Where we felt loved and taken care of. That we felt included and we felt that our adoptive mothers were ours. My neighbor Oliver was also adopted the same year I was and is also from Santiago, Chile. I always felt so lucky that he grew up down the street. My Chilean brother. I wonder, if he felt as I did. I will have to ask him the next time I see him.
Did that thought ever come to your mind? Could Mother's day actually be a day of sadness to Adoptees and Mothers?
The thought that DID cross my mind as I was growing up was, I hope my birth mom is ok. In my 20s she became a more prominent figure in my thoughts. What was she doing? Was she ok? Did She have more kids? Was Mother's day good for her? Did she miss me? I've touched this subject before in my previous blogs... why? Why did she do it?
Well.... 2024 Mother's day hit differently for me. I got to celebrate BOTH my birth mom and my mom. Guillermina and Joyce. I no longer think of it as... I am without my mom but I am blessed to have TWO moms. God thought to himself... This kid.. Ana-Maria is going to be crazy and is going to need 2 moms. ahahaha!! That's unfortunately... a very likely thought. I am wacko. I blame ADHD. Which I found out... runs in the family. My older brother Miguel and my little brother Luis also have it. I would not be surprised if Victoria and Catalina had it as well. (((but they know how to manage it so much better than i do ahaha!)))
This Mother's day, I got to see pictures of my Chilean family and be with my Scadinavian family. I get to see "Who" I look like and "Who" I act like. Blessed. Two mommies. I am sooooo lucky. I am so thankful that I have come to this point in my mental journey to FEEL this thankful. I hope that all those adopted children get to this point. I hope your heart, feels blessed. I hope your heart feels forgiveness AND thankfulness. Cause this feeling, is sooooo worth it. This feeling called, Joy.
JOY means being happy when the good things happen and hope when the bad things happen. Is it a coincidence that my mom's name is JOYce, which means JOYOUS? Is it a coincidence that my birth mom's name is Guillermina and means SENSITIVE and charming? All components that are found in Joy? WhAt A cOiNkIdInK!!!
As I celebrate my first Mother's day to my stepdaughter... my wish is... that all adopted children and their mother's find peace and joy. We are lucky, because if you think about it... we were all given second chances to live and GET to celebrate two mom's. I hope they find JOY.
Till next time,
BYE!
Ana-Maria - Rocio Carolina
p.s. I have 2 more siblings and a birth father to find. My sister... is somewhere in the US. Where could she be?
Please don't forget to donate to Connecting Roots, so that we can continue the search for our other siblings and so that other Chilean Adoptees can find their families. Another trip is planned to Chile this coming year to connect chilean adoptees with their families. They hope to cover the whole trip for the chilean adoptees. However they cannot do it without your generous donations.
*https://www.connecting-roots.com/donation/*
sources.
*https://adoptionnetwork.com/adoption-myths-facts/domestic-us-statistics/#:~:text=There%20are%20about%204.5%20million,by%20relatives%20or%20a%20stepparent.
*https://usafacts.org/articles/where-do-international-adoptees-come-from/
*https://www.thebump.com/b/joyce-baby-name
*https://mylofamily.com/parenting/babynames/meaning-of-guillermina-33015